Smasher No Monogatari (マッシャーの物語)
by shimapans
Summary: The young story of a man filled with hatred and angst, and his search to find happiness. (DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY)


Smasher's Story 

In this sad yet touching story, we find take a look at the life of Smasherx74. Huu. Credited: Lulz, KnotApples, Supa, StarChicken, (And guest appearances: Nova)

lulz îXî There once was a man named SMASHERX74/Phillip

KnotApples He ruled over the land of Sweden.

Rockstar in sweden, the ctizens were enraged by smasher/phillip

supa everyone was so upset by him because he couldn't play smash64 correctly and they all stoned him to death

StarChicken iXi after they stoned him, they drew penes on his butt and posted them on 4chan

lulz îXî the FBI found that picture on /b/ and immediately revived smasherx74 just to put him in maximum

penitentiary prison

KnotApples Smasher was offered complimentary senzu bean-semen smoothies for a week, before being throun out

on accounts of conspiracy

Rockstar after being thrown out, smasher met a very suspicious man with an eyepatch, he was attracted to him

supa that man would turn out to be one-eyed pete, infamous for his days as a buttpirate

StarChicken iXi He took his claw hand and stuck it right in smashers nonexistant pene, and draggin him to a

dark cave

Rockstar and so he said, "do he got the booty?" and checked out his booty, he later replied: "he dooooooo"

lulz îXî after 5 years of "insert something disgusting here" in that cave, he was bailed out by someone in

the smash64 community

KnotApples The smasher64 community quickly regocnized his "butt-pirate association of america" tatoo, which

pete sneakily applied to his right arm while drunk

Rockstar one member of the smash community came up to him and asked:

StarChicken iXi WHY DID YOU LET MY DAD SLEEP WITH YOU? HE ONLY PUTS TATTS ON PEOPLE HE SLEPT WITH!

supa "smasher is this how you've been training all these years to be isai?" he chortled then took a shot of

lsd.

StarChicken iXi He accidently snorted soo much lsd that-

lulz îXî he thought he was nova from the hallucinations, he then said "I am going to go play combat arms"

KnotApples After spending 6 hours trying to get a single headshot, Smasher's ectasy was broken when GAV

walked in on him, realizing all his NX has gone to waste

Rockstar "what the fuck?!" he cried, in total rage. he ranaway in tears, to his secret hideout, where all

his dildos and fleshlights were

supa so sexually frustrated smasher begun to put all the dildos into his ass until his thighs exploded from

all the pressure.

StarChicken iXi when he saw all his nx gone, he exclaimed \\Nøva/ ur a huge loser ,\\Nøva/ coward ass

oxygen thief

KnotApples In sheer angst and guilt, smasher hopped out of the window and moved to California, where he could

lactate cheese in peace

lulz îXî although those dildos were actually needles filled with bull testosterone, smasher immediately took

off his clothes and started doing the carlton dance from fresh prince

supa suddenly, smasher woke up. another wet dream. his sheets were rotten with the smell of premature cum and

guilt.

StarChicken iXi smasher walked out his front door.. he was incredably cold becuse his pants were dripping

wet. then off in the dinstance-

Rockstar he met a girl, but who was she?

supa it was none other than Rose ixi. she puked at the sight of him and nearly passed out from the smell.

smasher was convicted as

supa chronic masturbautor and manslaughter on the spot.

KnotApples Smasher was frustrated. He could never forget her slender body which made a perfect carboard-

cuttout of the rising morning sun

lulz îXî smasher went to court 2 weeks later to face his ccharges, they asked him why he did what he did then

he started to poop all over the floor waving his

lulz îXî hands around screaming CRAYONS CRAYONS! he was then sent to a mental facility where he sings short

bus shawty with the others

Rockstar in which he replied: "i did it for pete, my lover."

StarChicken iXi SMAHSER was depressed.. then out of the blue, he heared, "AHOY THAR" but where was the sound

comming from? he turned around, an

StarChicken iXi d suddenly smashers but was drilled by the returning butt-pirate, who was spinning at a good

100kRPM while wearing his pegleg

StarChicken iXi as a condom

supa smasher then went on to marry one-eyed pete and have 4 children named after characters from my little

pony. he never beat isai

supa and is still bad at smash to this day.

supa the end.


End file.
